amoying:
amoying:
what kind of shoe is the most fit to be a spy?
a sneaker
honksy:
*on my deathbed*
nurse: do you have any last words
me: i………..regret……being so……m…..mean………and heartless…………….
*the light goes out of my eyes*
*a small piece of paper falls out of my hand*
*the paper says one word only*
“sike”
-
me:
the fuck is this
-
me:
who the fuck are you
-
me:
dayum pull yo skirt down please
-
me:
walk faster fuckface
-
me:
fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you
-
me:
no you're a whore
-
me:
dont touch me i have more followers than you
-
me:
i wonder what would happen if a guy with a gun came in right now
-
me:
pew pew nigga
-
me:
i'd push you in front of me whore
the-pain-only-gets-worse:
I actually really want this
-
Parents:
Don't forget to make us proud
-
Friends:
Don't forget to socialize
-
Teachers:
Don't forget to get A's
-
Strangers:
Don't forget to blend in
-
Opposite sex:
Don't forget to look good
-
Society:
Don't forget to be perfect
-
Tumblr:
Fuck the world, they're peasants. At least you haven't murdered somebody today
-
Tumblr:
But just in case you want to get away with it, here are some tips.
- let yourself cry
- drink plenty of water or you might get a headache and the cry will feel more like a punishment than a catharsis
- if you wipe away tears before they can fall down your cheeks maybe think about that. your tears are not an inconvenience you do not need to minimize them.
- let yourself cry
buttlid:
kymherz:
ippinka:
Try out a cool way to separate egg yolks from egg whites!
this is genius.
this is actually lifechanging
eriridan:
eriridan:
so i have two days of school left and my teacher decided to give us an essay, and i’ll p much be turning in this
thank
my-name-is-hilarious:
theyahoostaff:
yourfriendthecrow:
I don’t know bout y’all, but the Yahoo staff are fucking HILARIOUS
We are not fucking HILARIOUS
HILARIOUS COME HERE AND TELL THEM THAT WE ARE NOT FUCKING
theyahoostaff and i are just friends gOD
dampsandwich:
vagisodium:
dampsandwich:
im not 21 please dont say the A word around me.
anchovies
great im going to be grounded now i hope your happy
the-great-jaygatsby:
Stay gold.
yourfriendg00:
cute nicknames for your significant other:
- old sport
- old sport
- old sport
- old sport
- old sport
- old sport
- old sport
homurahomo:
cronistic-tribute:
homurahomo:
sometimes i forget nipples exist…. think about it… even obama has nipples…. even dogs have nipples…. maybe even jesus had nipples…
jesus had fucking nipples, dude
whoa now…. dont force ur beliefs onto me
ninasaurio:
hiddlestalker:
jawslightning:
the best tumblr has to offer
1.1 billion right here baby
WELCOME TO TUMBLR